A new year has started. A chance for everyone to reinvent themselves, make resolutions and perhaps ignore them later, take a look at life and take stock of what’s there and what’s missing.
I have thought about my resolutions, even though I think it’s silly to make them on one day of the year, you should carry them with you all the time and improve continuously. Before I get there though, I first want to take a moment to see what was 2012 like.
It was a year full of change and personal growth, I dare to go that far to say I only during this year started really knowing who I am and what I want out of life.
I ended a long relationship, which left me alone for the first time in a really long time. That took a huge amount of strength to do. Strength I didn’t know I had in me before. That consoled me during the hard times, I knew I’d be fine, I was strong enough.
I got a roommate, when before I had thought that I can never live with one anymore, being accustomed to my ways and my privacy. It ended up being the best decision ever, of course because the person was right. I’m so thankful for you honey, you made it all so much easier. I was healed a lot through our talks at the kitchen table. Thanks for being there through the good and the bad, the obsessing (about several things) and the happiness and sadness. I apologize for the early morning attacks, I hope the pancakes made up for it. 
I finally made the decision to move back home to Finland, although I had already known for a while it’ll happen. From the moment I made the decision, it felt like the weight of the world was lifted off my shoulders. I’d finally get to see my niece learn new things, forming into the charming little person she is. I’d get to spend time with my family and be there also for the small things. The decision, I learned later on, of course brought sadness with it as well, needing to let go of what I had in Amsterdam, but that comes with change, it’s obvious.
I quit my job because of the decision to move. Today is actually the first day of my state of being “in between jobs” as you can so diplomatically say. I stepped away from a good job with great opportunities at a company where I was valued as an employee and as a coworker. I had a lot of great colleagues and all the security in the world. When I think of this, I feel a bit crazy to leave… But I think it was an important step for me, I can’t be lulled into the sense of security, I need to be able to show what I’m made of. That I feel I can only do in a new environment and with new challenges. Let’s hope I’m right…
I started CrossFit with the little one (thanks for coming with me, I’m happy we shared the experience), the best decision ever! I love the sport of fitness, the people I’ve met through it and the sense of accomplishment and empowerment it brings me. It makes me feel strong, fit, more balanced and confident. I’m addicted..
And then of course I moved. From the anonymous Amsterdam to my home in Helsinki. I’m settling in, and I’ll have to start looking for my place here soon (as in where I fit in, not where I’ll live, since I already have a great apartment..). But I’m gonna give myself time. I don’t want to hurry, it’s stressful enough with all the changes. I know I’ll be fine though, I have proven it to myself in the past.
Through all the things that have happened, all the new people I’ve met, I have learned to value myself more as a person. To know the good qualities I have. The inner strength in me. This is the greatest accomplishment in 2012.
Now, what about 2013? Here is a list of things I’m going to accomplish this year:
- be happy and grateful of what life has given me and what I’ve achieved
- learn to value myself from within, independent of the people around me
- be fitter than ever
- try as many new things as possible (in all areas of life)
- be even less afraid of everything
- not let others restrict me, but walk my own path
- not let myself restrict me
- be as kind to everyone as I can, including myself
- stay positive
- live in the moment (and always wear something pink)
- do all possible to realize my dreams
- live a healthy life respecting the environment and the people
- perfect my handstand and double unders
They are things I will work on continuously, for the rest of my life.
What are your resolutions? Let’s not just make them, but make them happen!! I will be the change I wish to see in the world.
Happy 2013, I know it’ll be a good one.
Beautifully written Elina. I am more than happy to have met you through our shared passion of Crossfit. Big hugs and i Know 2013 will be a good one! XX
Thanks Ruth! I know 2013 will be great for the both of us, and I’m sure we’ll get to wod together again some day.
This was a good read first thing in the morning in Canada, Elina. My resolutions this year are to go see more shows, to take at least one lesson a month from a top shelf musician and to get a tattoo… Although I could ad to that. The other thing that comes to my mind is to say what I mean especially when it’s hard to say. Very glad to hear that you’re healthy and happy! Much love for 2013 and beyond!
I’m happy you enjoyed it Liam! Good resolutions, I think developing yourself continuously is a very important thing. And saying difficult stuff, that’s something I should also do more. All the best to you and your family and loved ones for 2013! It would be nice to have our paths meet again. Maybe this year?